Sunday, August 30, 2009

Tits and Giggles In my pants.

*Note. I heard the term Tits and Giggles as a play on the British saying Kicks and Giggles. I believe I heard if from a British man...they say tits a lot. Anyway, just clearing up the term.
Also, no I do not recall where I heard the saying. Also, do not Google tits and giggles to find said origin. It's regrettable.

One of my favorite (living) authors, John Green, once coined the term In My Pants. He learned a beautiful fact after getting cream cheese in the grooves of his pants to which a friend exclaimed, "You got cream cheese...in your pants." He learned that if you had in my pants to things not meant to be funny they become quite funny. Oh, and your is interchangeable for my. So, in my pants is the same effect.

Most effectively, books.
This is a list of books on my bookshelf or in my pants:
-the Hindu philosophy book: Courage and Contentment in my pants.
-Monster in your pants.
-Looking For Alaska in your pants (a John Green book!).
-An Abundance of Katherines in my pants (a John Green book!).
-When the Tripods Came in my pants.
-The Hard Goodbye in my pants.

Also, album names!:
-Take Shape in my pants.
-Sticky Fingers in my pants.ew.
-Big Ones in your pants.
-Strange Weirdos in my pants.
-Thick as a Brick in my pants. Okay that's a song...

Also, movies!:
-Grumpy Old Men in my pants.
-12 Angry Men in your pants.
-The Lost Boys in your pants.
-Milk in your pants.
-Zack and Miri Make a Porno in your pants.
-Sexy Beast in your pants.
-The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants in my pants.

So try this to anything in everything and hopefully it will brighten up your day.

That is all in my pants.

Martin.

Important Thing: What you should be listening to. PART DEUX.

Hello friends.
This is a follow up music post about various recommendations of music that I love and that I want YOU to love!

Now this list ranges from different genres of music, some of which some people may not enjoy. Read the blurb, and if it appeals to you give it a try.

-The Dreadful Yawns: I recently discovered this indie band and I have been listening to them frequently since then. Their album Take Shape has songs often covering upbeat rock and more somber punk. My favorites on Take Shape are: Expecting Rain, Kill Me Now, and Catskill.

-Grizzly Bear: Oh just listen to them.
Check out: Veckatimest

-Pixies: Often very moody, very loud, and very different, Pixies is a band that experiments in different genres and sounds.
Check out: Hey, Debaser, Where is My Mind, and Here Comes Your Man.

-Wolf Parade: With different, often haunting vocals, Wolf Parade, is a band to listen to when maybe you're dealing with a variety of emotions.
Check out: I'll Believe in Anything (one of my favorite songs), Shine a Light, This Heart's on Fire, and Modern World. As well as the album all these songs are on Apologies to Queen Mary.

-Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!: This band...is a very acquired taste. They take the strange vocals of Wolf Parade to a whole new level...I don't know many people who like them but hey, maybe you'll be one of them. Probably not.
Check Out: Satan Said Dance, Over and Over Again, Gimme Some Salt, and Home On Ice.

-Matisyahu: A Hasidic Jew who voices ideas of Judaism and peace through Reggae, Rock, and Hip Hop sounds. He is someone not to be missed or overlooked. He also grew up right across the Hudson in White Plains. So, we're all practically famous.

-Kings of Convenience: Taking things down a notch, KOC is a quiet, melancholic, and personal group focusing on more jammin slow tunes.
Check out their albums Riot on an Empty Street and Quiet is the New Loud.

-Frightened Rabbit: Having just heard about this group yesterday, I don't have much to say for I haven't listened to them at great lengths. But from what I have heard I've liked. Check them out.
I've been listening to their album The Midnight Organ Fight.

Okay, that's enough for this post, hope you found some new artists to check out.

Thanks for reading.

Martin.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Movie Review: Inglorious Basterds, or if you graduated fourth grade, Bastards.

The name Quentin Tarantino has become synonymous with words like: violent, ultra violent,
nostalgic, and entertaining. And his newest film Inglorious Basterds is no exception.

The film is a totally recognizable Tarantino film however at the same time it's not a Tarantino film.

Let me explain. Much of the dialogue, although mostly subtitled, is recognizably Tarantino as well as the soundtrack. Sporting killer bass lines and huge over the top orchestra pieces, just hearing the soundtrack will make you realize that you're watching a Quentin Tarantino film.

However, what we get here is a more, I don't want to say mature, but sophisticated Tarantino. Not sophisticated in the sense that it is tame and clean but sophisticated in the sense that he focuses more on smart, drawn out dialouge scenes, the best ones dealing with Christoph Waltz's character Col. Hans Landa. Now that is not to say there arent classic, twisted, intense, Tarantino action scenes, there are, but what the migority of the film is, is several (almost over long) talking scenes. All of which I heavily enjoyed but the point I'm trying to stress here is that it isn't a typical Quentin Tarantino flick, which unfortunately is what it's advertised as.

I mentioned Christoph Waltz playing a character known as The Jewhunter. He BY FAR does the strongest acting here, and I would not be surprised if he got a Best Supporting Oscar nomination for his work here. Everyone else here is also quite good. Brad Pitt is funny and charismatic, all the basterds do a good job of scalping people, and most extras all do very capable jobs.

Oh yeah remember the Jewish nerd from Freaks and Geeks?:

He kills Nazis in this. No, not with a dummy.

Another quick note is that the twisted director of films like: Cabin Fever, Hostel, and Hostel 2, Eli Roth, plays one of the basterds known as the Jew Bear, who specializes in killing Nazis...with a baseball bat...Awesome.

Now, it's funny, because I say, "yeah! Kill those Nazis!", which I'm sure many people who watch this film will do. However there is a certain amount of irony in this film and even though Tarantino says he doesn't put messages or morals into his films, in this one, he certainly shows an ironic parallel. The irony comes into play with a German film within a film called Nation's Pride. The film consists of a German sniper shooting American soldiers as they scream and fall off of stuff. Now we see whilst this film is being shown, the Germans watching it, are laughing and cheering about Americans being murdered. HOWEVER that is the same thing WE are doing to the Nazis e.g "Nazis being killed by a baseball bat. Awesome".

The film manages to remain comically violent and funny throughout the entirety while still being serious throughout the entire thing. However when you're dealing with the subject matter of WWII, I can see how many people will be offended by this film.

All in all, it's entertaining, it's escapism, it's bloody, and it is a good time.
Is it as good as Pulp Fiction or Reservoir Dogs? Not at all. Is it better than Kill Bill I and II? Yes.


Martin.

PS: One night, my mom once said, and I'm quoting, "Martin, you look like...you look like one of those Jewish nerds."

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Tits and Giggles: YouTube, Now With More Time Wasting Goodness!

In today's day and age, we seem to be surrounded by the media. In advertising and television, in movies and the world wide interwebz. But now...we have advertising in television...and...could it be? Movies on the INTERWEBZ?!
Either this is a sign of the apocalypse or we just found a new way to rot our brains.
Probably both.

Now, I am not new to movies on the interwebz however what has just popped up, is movies on the video sharing YouTube. Various production companies are giving out their hit films for the YouTube community to enjoy.

Lionsgate, for instance, is sharing such hits as:

Top Dog.

Won an Oscar for the greatest. tag line. ever.

Kickboxer...3!


This guy clearly doesn't know the rules of kickboxing. Sweet tattoo though.

And...Hot Boyz.

Do I need to make fun of this one? It's directed by Master P. It stars Snoop Dogg and a fellow named Silkk The Shocker (graceful).

Some other titles include:
-Cry Sea
-Cannibal Man
-Fast Sofa
-Demon Witch Child
-Hittin' It
and
-Frightmare

That's ironic because those six names were the names I had picked out for my future six kids.

I am dead serious. These are all actual movies, actually on YouTube. Go to youtube.com/movies.

That is all.

Martin.

PS:Cry Sea go clean your room. Demon Witch Child don't put that in your mouth.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

NEW WEEKLY POST SERIES: Top Five Weekly: Superhero Movies.

This is a new segment where every week I will post a new favorite Top Five dealing with different categories. They will start from #5 to #1. 1 being the best.

This week's category is:
Top Five Superhero Movies! Ever!

5. Superman II :
To me not only does it surpass Superman: The Movie, but it's the superhero movie that really jump started the superhero movie genre. Sure some of the effects and acting haven't aged well, and sure there are a plenty of weird moments: amnesia kiss?, stupid Niagara Falls kid? cellophane S symbol? But that does not make it any the less great. It's campy, it's fun, and it deals with Superhero dilemmas that have rarely been tackled since then.

4. Batman Begins:
Chris Nolan's first attempt at the relaunch of the Batman franchise. And what a first attempt it was. Equally balancing the origin of Batman with a complete new story, Batman Begins was dark, edgy, real, and a breath of fresh air from uh, this:


The one downside to this film is the editing. Most of the action scenes are so quick and randomly edited that it is hard to figure out what's going on, this weak point pushes it back to #4 however it does have Liam Neeson with a Samurai sword. Awesome.

3. Spider-Man 2:
In my opinion, Spider-Man 2 is one of the best movie sequels behind The Godfather 2 and The Empire Strikes Back. Showing the problems of being a superhero and the physical and emotional tole it has on our hero Peter Parker was brilliantly executed in Sam Raimi's second Spider-Man film. With great action, acting, humor, direction, and writing, Spider-Man 2 steals the #3 spot only to be out ranked by...

2. Iron Man:
Last years MEGA ULTRA FANTASTIC hit Iron Man proved many things. It proved Jon Favreau's directing ability, it proved Robert Downey JR could have a comeback, it proved you can tell an entertaining origin story while still having a central story, and it proved that superhero movies are starting to become a thing not just for geeks, but for the mainstream public, proved by its mammoth box office rake in. Like Batman Begins, Iron Man beautifully juggled the origin of Iron Man and the character ark of Tony Stark. Fun action, charismatic acting by all involved, and a great director gives Iron Man the title of the second best superhero film of all time.

And now...number one...

1. If you don't know what number one is you're a fool:
The Dark Knight is the second highest grossing movie...ever...just under, *sigh* fucking Titanic. CURSE YOU TITANIC. Anyway, what Batman Begins got wrong or did a shoddy job at, The Dark Knight perfected. Christopher Nolan took the nit-picky criticism he received from Begins and far surpassed anything anyone could have ever imagined. Me and every other fanboy had our expectations high for this film. And boy, did it ever deliver. The Dark Knight was not only seen as a great superhero film but a great film in general. It was accepted by audiences world wide and won an Oscar for the late Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker (anyone who says Nicholson's was better is wrong). The main criticism for Knight was it's length. As long as the length is not unnecessary I see no problem with getting more film for my 11 bucks. All these reasons and more makes The Dark Knight the best superhero movie. Ever.

Martin.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Geekdom: Avatar AND Wolf Man trailers!

Truly sorry for the amount of delay...I've been starting many posts and just haven't gotten around to finish any of them. I think it's the beach that's 20 feet away from the house I'm staying at. Or it could be my laziness. Probably both. Anyway, today, I have some heavy, heavy Geek/movie news.

James Cameron hasn't made a film in ten years (discounting various documentary projects). His last film being Titanic....*sigh*...I don't care what you say, Titanic is a very well made film, however also a very bad film.

For the past seven years, he has been working on, writing, and directing the new film entitled Avatar.

Starring Sam Worthington (a fellow that is sure to be a gigantic star soon), Avatar is based around a group of soldiers from earth journeying to a planet called Pandora. There they shoot, shoot, shoot, adapt, adapt adapt, shoot, shoot, cry, cry, shoot, adapt, and get eaten, among other things. This is one of the most anticipated films since...well...a while. And FINALLY we have a teaser trailer. Now, it is only a teaser but from the looks of it...well...it looks fantastic.

Check it:
http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox/avatar/
Make sure to watch in HD.

ALSO, this morning we were treated to The Wolf Man remake. Now, generally I am against remakes as well as things directed by Joe Johnston. However, I have been excited for this film ever since I learned of the star studded cast. And now, we have a teaser trailer for it.
And it looks...okay...
Some of it looks amazing and some of it just looks really low budget. I am very disappointed that they chose to make the wolfman transformation scenes in CGI where as it would have been much more successful with practical effects. I kinda digg this trailer, but I guess we'll have to wait for it to come out to judge.

Recognize:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HteUYxycd5k

Hehe it's really stupid when he yells, "I WILL KILL ALL OF YOU." Stupid.

I shall try and have more posts soon in the future.

Martin.

PS: Titanic summary taken from http://www.rinkworks.com/movieaminute/
I did not wright this but boy is it funny:

Leonardo DiCaprio
Your social class is stuffy. Let's dance with the ship's rats and have fun.
Kate Winslet
You have captured my heart. Let's run around the ship and giggle.
(The ship SINKS.)

Leonardo DiCaprio
Never let go.
Kate Winslet
I promise. (lets go)



THE END

Titanic sucks.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Important Thing: Delays.

Currently, my family and I are in L.B.I which means posts will be less frequent than they already have been(I've been slacking). I'll try to post as much as I can and in about two weeks we'll be back to normal (even though I have not been posting that much recently).

Sorry, things will be back to normal eventually (anybody care?).


Martin.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Movie Review: Let The Right One In.

This is not a vampire love story:


This is:



This is not a vampire love story:



This is:



The Swedish film, Let the Right One In, is a vampire love story. A dark, gory, real, heartbreaking, vampire love story. This vampire does not sparkle in the sunlight or play "vampire baseball" and is not played by Robert Pattinson. This vampire is a twelve year old girl who forms a friendship with a fellow twelve year old Oskar. Thus is the premise of LTROI. Their relationship is innocent and enduring played by two Swedish minors who escape token bad child acting, and replace it with profound performances.

The less said about this film the better for you should really go into it not knowing much. There are shocking moments, cringing violence, and disturbing content all whilst remaining innocent and sweet.

This film is really two movies in one. To put it bluntly: You get a love story between two outsiders both feeling outcast from society. With lots of blood. Nice.

The cinematography here is just brilliant. Using bold reds and cool grays and blues in the back round really amps up the tone and gives it a feel of ominous darkness.

This movie is not for the squeamish, however, I would not consider it a horror film. I would also recommend this film to people who don't like vampires or blood because the relationship here is just that powerful. NO this film is not meant for tween girls wetting their pants over a fictional Cullen. NO not everyone will enjoy this film. YES it is certainly one of the best films of last year.

Check this one out but be warned that it is disturbing and might not appeal to wide audiences.

Martin.


Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Movie Review: A Predictable Getaway (see what I did there? tehehe).

In the day and age of PG-13 thriller/horror flicks, it is refreshing to see a halfway decent rated R one. A Perfect Getaway is such a rated R thriller. It entails a honeymooning couple, played by Steve Zahn and Mila Jokvafoiajowiejfoawkef(chick from resident evil, I was too lazy to look up the spelling), on a trail on an island in Hawaii. When word gets out that there has been a newlywed couple slain on a nearby island they get a little paranoid. On the trail they encounter two other couples who may or may not be the killers. Each couple expects the other one as the first two acts of the film build up to a thrilling Rambo-style third act. Unfortunately, the first two acts? Not so good.

They marketed this film as an action packed thrill-ride with twists at every turn, and after seeing it I said to myself, "uh, kinda?". The thing is, is that the thrill-ride aspect of this film happens in the last act and the two acts building up to that are slow going, predictable, and somewhat boring. Get to the bloodshed. Please?

Steve Zahn and Mila Jolkavichoifwjaoiej meet up with the wonderfully charismatic Timothy Olyphant and...some chick...Olyphant almost saves the first two acts, almost.

Judging by the trailer the third couple, played by two people we don't care about, seem to be a big part of the film. They have a cumulative screen time of about twenty minutes. So what we get is the other two dis-interesting couples making there way to the beach, and at no point do either couple turn back in fear of being murdered because that would be the smart thing to do.

What also happens here is that Steve Zahn plays a screenwriter and throughout the movie Olyphant and Zahn have witty banter about cliche movie happenings or just about plot devices in general. This is to tease the audience about red herrings and possible twists however what it does, is that it just makes things more predictable.

Anyway the main problem with this film, for me anyways, was the fact that the way it was advertised was that it had some MAJOR HUGE TWIST at the end. It was a major huge twist. However, I saw it coming in the beginning of the second act. But hey, maybe I've seen too many movies and I'm too desensitized and maybe most people will have a good time with this. However with this knowledge I found myself wanting to get to the thrilling third act to see some action. Maybe the third act is worth sitting through....on DVD....

Now, this film is rated R so we do get a few fucks here and there, some sexual references, drug references, and intensity. And the action that is here really makes you feel it and cringe. It's bloody, it's suspenseful, it's about twenty five minutes. The parts that I didn't want to end did, and the parts that needed to die did not.

Catch this one on DVD if it's a slow night but fast forward to see some intense, gory, action.

Martin.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Geekdom: OH MY HOLY LORD IRON MAN 2 FOOTAGE. Ahem.

I loved Iron Man. LOVED it. It has everything to satisfy my Geek appetite. With a solid origin story, good character development, and an excellent segway for a sequel, fanboys such as myself are squirming in there seats over anticipation for Iron Man 2. And those lucky enough to attend Comic Con this year (I was not) were treated to some 5 minute clippage of the new Iron Man.
And FINALLY, that footage is now leaked onto the interwebz for Geekboys and Geekgirls to wet their pants and dresses over anticipation.

Here we see Nick Fury (director of S.H.E.I.L.D), Scarlett Johansson as Black Widdow(holy god), the new Jim Rhodes played by Don Cheadle (a better choice than Terrence Howard), Sam Rockwell as Justin Hammer, and the big news Mickey Rourke as Whiplash. Now, what excites me most is obviously Scarlett as Black Widow (oh..my god) and Sam Rockwell playing weapons dealer Justin Hammer. Sam Rockwell is one of my favorite actors and I giggle just to see him in this (that does not make me less of a man).

The quality is not very good, and it is difficult to hear at times but the 5 minutes is well worth your time.

Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LznLeDkuoBk

Not sure how long that link will be up for, YouTube has a tendency to remove these things but if that does not work you should be able to search over the interwebz for another copy.

Iron Man Rules.

Martin.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Important Thing/Life: John Hughes.

The Breakfast Club.
Sixteen Candles.
Pretty in Pink.
Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.

What do these movies have in common? Besides being all hilarious, all heartfelt, and all belonging to my favorite movies of all time (maybe excluding Sixteen and Pretty), they were all directed and written by one of the best creative minds ever. John Hughes.

There was a point in my middle school years when I discovered these films and the work of John Hughes. He brought us funny and poignant films while all being maybe a little cheesy, but all being entirely entertaining and meaningful. I truly believe that these films gave me the final push to become a creative writer and aspiring director. These films mean a lot to me and are ones that I still re-watch today. Are they great/perfect films? Not at all. Do I love them? With all my heart. Is John Hughes one of my favorite writers/biggest inspirations? Yes.

John Hughes died this morning of a heart-attack while on a morning walk in Manhattan. He was 59. Obviously this came as an enormous shock to me when I heard this a few minutes ago. Yes, it is devastating that he has passed and all his talent with him, but what really hits me is that he hasn't written anything successful in ten years and hasn't directed anything in eighteen.
I was hoping for another hit from Mr. Hughes, maybe something to affect my high school years just like The Breakfast Club did my middle school ones. He captured teen and adult angst like no other and made films which I really connected to. And I believe that if a human being can make a piece of art that connects or changes another human being, that human, has done a good job of being human. Not many people can say they have truly affected someone. John Hughes can.

This morning a legend, a genius, a creative genius, a brain, a criminal, an athlete, and a basket case died. Most suddenly, most horribly died, on a seemingly ordinary day.

Rest in peace Mr. John Hughes.

.silence.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Movie Review: Funny People.

Usually I won't review a movie here that has just come out or a movie that's more popular or one that's mainstream. I am making an exception for, Funny People.

Most movie watchers today know of the comedic writer/director Judd Apatow. Many films go with that name and it seems that his name alone has sparked its own genre. A genre consisting of the same humor, the same actors, and other coincidences. Now, this is not a bad thing. The two previous films Apatow has directed (The 40yearold Virgin, Knocked Up) I have loved and many other films that he has been involved with, either writing or producing, are usually ones I tend to check out. I enjoy this new "genre" of comedy mostly because today we have this type of comedy, and we have things like Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, and Meet the Spartans. Films that I simply despise.

I'm telling you this so you get to know where I'm coming from when I watched Funny People, for this review requires a lot of back round of my expectations, my tastes, and view points.

Funny People is about a successful, aging comedian George, played by Adam Sandler, who discovers he has a fatal blood disease. Upon knowing this he hires Ira, played by the great Seth Rogen, to be his assistant as well as write jokes for him when George goes back to doing stand up.

That's the central plot, what comes with that are various other story lines dealing with Ira's roommates, George's ex-girlfriend who George is trying to win back, Ira's female comedian love interest, along with underlying themes of death, regret, second chances, and friendship. Now, that may sound cheesy, but what Funny People manages to do is capture all these plot lines, themes, and characters in one film, changing the audiences emotion in mere seconds.

One thing that must be mentioned, before I go any further, is that most reviews I've read, and EVERYONE of my friends who have seen this movie have given it either an unfavorable or a mediocre review. However, all of these critics and all of my friend's opinions are all sharing all the same reasons why they disliked this film.
Now, I see EVERY single flaw they have with this movie, but the bottom line is that every single thing they have said, does not bother me the least. Which is why this review is going to be a bit unorthodox, for I'm telling you that I loved this movie, yet I would not recommend it.

This film is not what most people would expect. You do not laugh every minute and you do have to give this emotional connect to these characters. Something, that Apatow's audience is not prepared to do.

However, I had a feeling about what this film would be, and what it would mean to me, and when I walked out of the theater I was correct.

One of the main reasons of why I love this film, is not only is it hilarious in many parts, but it also shows a certain maturity which is very refreshing. I found myself being very depressed through so much of this, which most people will not enjoy, but Judd Apatow has really shown a more sensitive script even with the raunchy hilarious comedy that comes with it. He has also matured as a very capable director when it comes to set up, and following through with shots.

We also see a maturity in the actors, Adam Sandler playing a role very close to his own life, and showing a darker side of himself. Jason Schwartzman shows up playing a believable douchebag who you love to hate. Eric Bana also shows a comedic side playing George's ex-girlfriend Laura's new husband.

Another quick mention is the soundtrack which is very key to many scenes. It consists of folky James Taylor to classic rock to alternative and it really helped me get into the movie.

Overall, not for everyone, if you agree with most things I'm saying about film in general see this one, if not, it's still worth it to check it out on DVD for it still holds that Apatow raunchy comedy.


Martin.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Tits and Giggles: Whales, and why they rock.

For the scientific:
Trillions (probably) of years ago, whale ancestors made their way out of the water and onto dry land, adopting legs and vital systems. A couple millions (probably) of years later, the whale land mammal made its way back into the water, thus losing its legs and vital systems and becoming more like the whale we know today.

For the not so scientific:
Whales got out of the water, chilled on land a little, didn’t like it, went back in the water.

A totally realistic and scientifically accurate conversation between two whales:

Hey so uh, I’ve been thinking. Want to go down to the whale gym and work off some of this blubber?

Eh, not really. Let’s just grow some legs and move onto land. We can burn calories that way (he starts to gather his things).

Isn’t that like, a whole lot more effort than just going down to the whale gym? I mean can we even grow legs?

Hm? Oh sorry I wasn’t paying attention; I was too busy gathering all my whale furniture.

You’re sure this will work?

Trust me. Besides, it’s not like we’ll get bored and want to come back into the water, get real.

Hm, (he pauses to think things over) do they have whale gyms?

I think they’re just called gyms up there. I heard they have Jamba Juice.

What’s that? Is it like Whale Jamba Juice?

Kind of, just with less krill.

The End

Whales rule.

Martin.